Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Denial
i couldn't sleep last night. I didn't
what was going thru my head when i was
closing my eyes and yet to sleep.
at least i started my day with a smile this
morning. Ma were making jokes and stuffs
that made me laugh. thanks ma!
i keep denying whatever this is i'm feeling.
but i just cant push away. this feels more
heavier than that 120kg i've pushed 2 days go.
its good that you're ignoring because it really helps.
hold it longer please...
(am i waiting?)
the lie
i said i never wanted to blog again.
that was a lie, i guess.
it feels better to let it out here
its fine to just write everything down
and not getting any response. its
better.
now i just feel like having a drink
but naaaaaaaaah....
i'm just confuse about whats going on.
i thought i had a handle on this
but this past few months its just
like i dont know who i am anymore...
(its ok abu. its a small matter)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
the final post?
(the ones that reminds me of who I am)
(the ones that i treated like my family)
(the ones that i always hang out with when i was bored)
(the one who helps me with my problems with his solutions)
(the one who pushes me when i say (i can't)
(the one that i will never give up on)
(the one who likes to share his point of view)
(the ones who always gave me the strength)
(the ones who makes me smile)most of the people in the photos above are the people thats worth spending time with, worth talking to, worth walking with, worth chilling with and worth half of my life. i may not be with them everyday but i keep them right in my heart...
i had doubts about closing this blog. until a friend of mine help me to make my my decision. closing down the blog is bad idea...
shirley: no, dont close it down... because when u grow older u may want to look at it again...
it doesnt make me feel any better to write down all those unpleasant things that happened.... it doesnt make things better too... instead, it becomes only a painful memory of what i did instead of a lesson that i should learn from...
sorry, but i'm not an emo. it is only this year that i've become like this and i have nowhere to face and nowhere to go.
the thought of "m.i.a" arouses when i was not forgiven from a single person that i ask for... and i realise i was really a cold blooded bastard. i took some of you for granted and because i am selfish, i brought hatred and the lost of trust to almost all of you... and apologizes are hard to accept and i understand as i've been in those shoes before...
this time the only solution is to leave and this is the last post i've written.
thank you readers....
sorry, but i'm not an emo. it is only this year that i've become like this and i have nowhere to face and nowhere to go.
the thought of "m.i.a" arouses when i was not forgiven from a single person that i ask for... and i realise i was really a cold blooded bastard. i took some of you for granted and because i am selfish, i brought hatred and the lost of trust to almost all of you... and apologizes are hard to accept and i understand as i've been in those shoes before...
this time the only solution is to leave and this is the last post i've written.
thank you readers....
Labels: disappear
Saturday, July 11, 2009
(sweet 16)i sing
"happy b'day to you, happy to you! happy b'day to darinna, happy b'dae to.... yoooouuuuuuuu!"
Happy 16th birthday to darinna!
may all ur wishes come true...
talking about birthdays, it has been pouring birthdays since a few weeks back...
sorry people, no present.. hahahaha... thats all for today's post...
Labels: wet on the way there
Thursday, July 9, 2009
get it over abu!
(she makes me smile)"oh no... she's just in my head! get out please!"
i keep thinking about it.. i can't eat, i can't sleep properly, i can't lift weights properly... i can't face anymore walls... if theres any wall i don't think i can climb it... i cant think about it... because if i do, i cant move...
Labels: the fastest way
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
up
just now was kinda weird! i dont know why... but i met some of the few people that is worth half of my life.... i havent seen them for quite sometime and i met them coincidencely... wah! i'm happy! VERY happy! hahaha...
webcam with people la today, talk raaaandom things la, seen stupid stuffs la, seen funny stuffs la, this and that la... wah... today wasnt any typical day.. it was good.. i didnt hear bad news or any bad stories... everything was fine...
i WAS happy...
(random)and i chilled with y kid at his void deck. singing la, play guitar and we were having hard time finding connection with my lappy... hahahaha... (wtf sia abu... void deck also can ah?)
i was relieved to see everything was fine. my friends are fine, the people of my life are fine and doing well eventhough we havent seen each other for sometime... i love u people!!!
(don't let it take you too deep, abu. don't tolerate your feelings. you're one man for yourself. you can still be on top with or without anyone. you're already doing well. don't let one reason stop you from going up. don't think about it to much. if you have to fix your problems then do it yourself. do it your way. nothing stops you....)
Labels: i dont have to
Monday, July 6, 2009
gotta see
micheal has past away and i feel sorry for him... but despite of him being gone, people still make fun of him.. and i do not agree.. but whatever it is, i find this video damn funny......... i dont know which are they making fun of...
Labels: dont pee
